Before we take an auto ride Pa says to Ma:
      "My dear,
Now just remember I don't need suggestions
     from the rear.
If you will just sit still back there and hold
     in check your fright,
I'll take you where you want to go and get
     you back all right.
Remember that my hearing's good and also I'm
     not blind,
And I can drive this car without suggestions
     from behind."

Ma promises that she'll keep still, then off we
     gayly start,
But soon she notices ahead a peddler and his
     cart
"You'd better toot your horn," says she, "to let
     him know we're near;
He might turn out!" and Pa replies:  "Just
     shriek at him, my dear."
And then he adds: "Some day, some guy will
     make a lot of dough
By putting horns on tonneau seats for women-
     folks to blow!"

A little farther on Ma cries:  "He signaled for
     a turn!"
And Pa says: "Did he?" in a tone that's hot
     enough to burn.
"Oh, and there's a boy on roller skates!"  cries Ma.
     "Now do go slow.
I'm sure he doesn't see our car."  And Pa says:
     "I dunno,
I think I don't need glasses yet, but really it
     may be
That I am blind and cannot see what's right
     in front of me."


If Pa should speed the car a bit some rigs to
     hurry past
Ma whispers:  "Do be careful now.  You're
     driving much too fast."
And all the time she's pointing out the dangers
     of the street
And keeps him posted on the roads where 
     trolley cars he'll meet.
Last night when we got safely home, Pa sighed
     and said:  "My dear,
I'm sure we've all enjoyed the drive you gave
    us from the rear!"